In New Jersey, the top concern of any child custody case is what's in a child's best interests. Second to that is encouraging and supporting a child's relationship with both parents.

One way to accomplish both of these goals is with a healthy co-parenting relationship. Everyone benefits when parents can find a way to put aside or resolve differences to successfully co-parent. While not always easy, even acrimonious divorces or custody disputes can transform into healthy co-parenting relationships.

The Lento Law Firm Family Law Team works with families throughout New Jersey to establish workable custody agreements. We help parents find solutions that focus on their child's best interest and enable them to build a healthy parent-child relationship. Call us at 888-535-3686 or contact us online.

Co-Parenting Tips

There's no one way to parent, and there's no one way to co-parent. We've found the following suggestions useful in the majority of custody cases:

1. Give children time to process their parents' divorce or split. If possible, work with the other parent to minimize the stress your child might experience.
2. Encourage children to have a relationship with both parents.
3. Encourage children to have a relationship with extended family members.
4. Be willing to cooperate with the other parent.
5. Create a parenting plan that includes guidelines for how to handle potential future disagreements and guidelines on medical and educational decisions.
6. Don't bad mouth your child's other parent to your child, within your child's hearing, or on social media.
7. Seek compromise rather than victory: Remember, it's not about winning but about what's in your child's best interests.
8. Find a way to share important moments, whether that be enjoying them together or switching off so both parents can be there for big events and successes.
9. Have consistency between both houses on issues such as discipline, bedtimes, meals, and routines. This doesn't mean identical, just similar. Children of all ages do well with structure and routine.
10. Do NOT use children as messengers or as the go-between. If parents are unable to communicate, find a neutral third party who can act as the messenger.
11. If and when disagreements occur, don't have them in front of a child or within your child's hearing.
12. Put a plan in place for how to handle when a child or parent is sick. For example, if a child is sick on a day when they're supposed to switch houses, it may be better for them to stay in one place until they're feeling better.
13. Keep child support and financial issues separate from spending time with both parents.
14. Communicate about schedule changes, including when you may need to alter custody.

Focus On Your Child

More than following any guide, the most important advice is to do what's best for your child and your family situation. Parents should focus on what they have in common – their shared love for their child – and not on their anger or winning. In the big picture, a win is creating a stable, supportive environment for your child through a successful co-parenting relationship.

The Lento Law Firm Family Law Team helps parents and families throughout New Jersey find custody arrangements that keep children front and center. We assist our clients in collaborative solutions. Call us at 888-535-3686 or contact us online.