Domestic abuse is a pervasive problem in American society and can affect one in three women. It is regarded by mental health advocates as a systemic pattern involving a willful desire by the abuser to control a household member, usually an intimate partner, by a pattern of abusive actions. It can be very difficult for a victim of intimate or household abuse to clearly recognize the phases and patterns of domestic abuse. Once you understand these phases of domestic abuse, it will become increasingly clear that domestic violence is cyclic in nature, and it is imperative to stop the pattern completely and get help.
If you or a loved one are caught in the vicious cycle of domestic abuse in New Jersey, then you must obtain help in your crisis. You can get the legal help you need with a restraining order from the experienced legal professionals at Lento Law Firm Family Law Team at 888.535.3686 or contact the offices online.
The Phases of the Domestic Abuse Cycle
Phase One: The Honeymoon Period
This is generally a short-lived phase of compatibility. The intimate relationship is passionate and romantic, and the couple experiences a strong chemistry in their relationship.
Phase Two: Tension-Building
Instead of the intimate relationship gradually developing into a long-term partnership of respect and mutual support, the relationship begins to deviate from a healthy relationship. In the tension-building phase of the cycle, the victim may feel as if they are walking on eggshells. Although there may not be any physical aggression towards the victim in this phase, the abuser may start acting out by using drugs, drinking excessively, becoming more controlling or nit-picking, or even becoming increasingly sarcastic or angry towards their partner. At this stage, the victim is doing everything possible to keep the relationship together and have an appearance of normal functioning.
Phase Three: Explosion Phase
In this phase, it becomes obvious to the victim that there is serious trouble and even danger in the relationship. The explosion phase can involve battering, rape, destroying household property or the victim's personal property, or intense verbal abuse. At this point, the victim wants to leave, and the problem in this phase is that the abuser wants to keep controlling the victim and does what the victim wants in order to reconcile. This is sometimes considered a fourth phase called reconciliation/peacemaking. It can include giving gifts, having make-up sex, apologizing, promising to change, and promising to get professional help. The victim may believe that calm has now been restored in the relationship. However, the victim fails to realize that they are simply back in phase one, the honeymoon period, and the next phase of the abuse cycle will also repeat since it is a cyclic pattern of abuse. No real change towards a healthy relationship has happened.
Get Professional Help To Stop the Domestic Abuse Cycle
It is vital for the victim to realize that domestic abuse is a cyclic pattern, and the victim must reach out to professionals to help them deal with this cycle. State Hotlines and mental health advocates are often a first step. To ensure that this pattern of abuse really can stop, it is also essential to obtain a legal restraining order against the abuser. Spousal abuse is one of the most common forms of domestic abuse, and you will need strong legal support to get out of the cycle of spousal or domestic abuse. If you are a domestic abuse victim, contact the experienced professionals at the Lento Law Firm Family Law Team at 888.535.3686.
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