When domestic abuse is part of a marriage, divorcing an abusive spouse can be stressful. Once separated, an abuser can toss aside their mask and set out to punish their spouse however possible.

Psychologists refer to this as the maximum punishment strategy or the maximum pain, maximum gain strategy. The goal is simple: to punish a soon-to-be-former spouse as much as possible. The reasons can vary – disliking being left, wanting to exert control – but these tactics can ramp up during separations and divorces.

Divorcing an abusive spouse can be stressful, frightening, and mentally taxing. The Lento Law Firm Family Law Team is here to help domestic violence victims navigate the legal process. You deserve to feel and be safe. Call us at 888-535-3686 or contact us online.

Coercive Control and Abuse

The maximum pain, maximum gain strategy is simple. The goal is to win – especially if that win means their former spouse loses – while causing as much damage as possible to the other person's life.

Abusers can go about these tactics in a multitude of ways. They may attempt to get a favorable custody decision, especially if they know being away from their children will hurt their former spouse. They'll engage in litigation abuse or other coercive control tactics. They may attempt to control finances or otherwise continue to find ways to assert dominance and control over their former spouse's life.

For many, the goal is to make clear that a former spouse can never escape them, that they will always control that person's life and will always be there. Others may suggest that if a spouse returns to the marriage, they can go back to how things were before, that they're only doing this because they love their spouse and want to preserve their marriage.

Abusers tend to be good at knowing the best ways to manipulate their victims. That's why limiting contact is imperative.

An angry, vindictive, abusive spouse can be terrifying. However, victims do have avenues to limit these techniques.

Restraining Orders

An attorney can assist a spouse in leaving a marriage that involves domestic abuse. They can help people begin to take back their power and limit their soon-to-be-former spouse's control over their life.

One of the most common ways to do this is with a restraining order. New Jersey allows current and former spouses to file for restraining orders.

New Jersey restraining orders limit all forms of contact. From limiting physical contact to banning contact via third parties or online, restraining orders are one way to limit an abuser's control and influence.

An important part of a restraining order can also include financial provisions. This can limit an abuser's ability to financially coerce a victim. A member of the Lento Law Firm Family Law Team can walk our clients through the steps of a restraining order and help them determine what they need to do to minimize an abuser's attempts to punish them.

You Deserve a Life Free From Free

Separating from an abusive spouse is the first step toward reclaiming your life. Unfortunately, separation and divorce can temporarily increase a spouse's abusive techniques. The goal of strategies such as maximum punishment is to maintain control over a domestic abuse victim.

The Lento Law Firm Family Law Team is here to assist individuals who are seeking to divorce an abusive spouse. We support our clients every step of the way, from determining the best strategies to limit a former spouse's contact and control to safely moving into their next chapter. Call us at 888-535-3686 or contact us online.