Why You Shouldn't Overshare in Your New Jersey Divorce

Posted by Joseph D. Lento | Jul 14, 2023 | 0 Comments

Going through a divorce is an emotional experience, even when you know it's the right thing to do. When we experience intense emotions, whether fear, anger, hurt, joy, or relief, we naturally want to share them with family and friends. However, there is such a thing as oversharing–and it can negatively impact your divorce and life in general.

Oversharing occurs when you divulge personal details about your divorce or relationship to people you aren't close with or who aren't comfortable hearing such information. You might be oversharing if you talk about private matters such as your financial arrangements, sexual relationships, opinions about your soon-to-be-ex, your children's feelings about the divorce, or particulars about the divorce proceedings or agreement. Posting inappropriate or compromising photos on social media can also be a form of oversharing.

Here are three main reasons why oversharing can be detrimental.

Information Shared Can Be Used Against You.

If you overshare while the divorce proceeding is ongoing, those details or photos might come back to haunt you. You're at the highest risk of receiving blowback if you share this information on social media. When you talk about private matters on the internet, you're broadcasting your personal business to a broad and indiscriminate audience. Your ex, your ex's lawyer, or even the judge might discover this information. Someone could screenshot it and share it with whomever they like. If the info casts you in an unfavorable light, your ex could use it against you in the divorce or child custody hearing.

Oversharing Can Damage Relationships.

When you overshare, you may injure personal relationships. Even if you parted on good terms with your ex, they might not appreciate you sharing certain details about your relationship or divorce. They may feel hurt or angry, negatively affecting their approach to the divorce or your co-parenting relationship.

Oversharing can also damage your relationship with your kids. When you bad-mouth the other parent or share too much information about your relationship with your children, you force them into a role they shouldn't be in. Your kids should never be an emotional crutch or sounding board for you, particularly concerning adult issues involving their other parent. Your children may become stressed, anxious, and resentful of you.

Oversharing Can Make You Feel Bad.

Sometimes oversharing can leave you vulnerable to a host of unsolicited opinions. You may feel hurt by these thoughts and judgments, or they could cause you to second-guess your decisions and send you down the rabbit hole of regret. Better to only unload with a therapist or friends and family whom you know will be discreet and supportive in the way that you need.

Reach Out to an Experienced New Jersey Family Lawyer

Divorce can be complicated under the best of circumstances. You need a skilled and knowledgeable attorney to help guide you through the process and achieve the best outcome possible. Call Attorney Joseph D. Lento and his Family Law Team today at 888-535-3686 for a consultation, or schedule one online. Whether you seek a collaborative divorce or a traditional one, we are ready to help you move on to the next chapter of your life.

About the Author

Joseph D. Lento

"I pride myself on having heart and driving hard to get results!" Attorney Joseph D. Lento is a veteran of one of the nation's busiest family courts with nearly 20 years' experience passionately helping families. By day, he worked in the trenches of family court, and at night, he studied the law. He helped countless families while working at family court, and he went on to become an attorney, dedicating his law practice to continuing the work he started years earlier. Mr. Lento's experience both behind the scenes and on the front lines allows him to understand a client's family law matter from all angles, and allows him to find and employ the most effective strategies to get favorable outcomes for any client. Joseph D. Lento is licensed in New Jersey and New York, and is admitted pro hac vice as needed nationwide. In the courtroom and in life, attorney Joseph D. Lento stands up when the bell rings! He does not settle for the easiest outcome, and instead prioritizes his clients' needs and protects their interests.


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Attorney Joseph D. Lento has more than a decade of experience practicing Family Law in New Jersey. If you are having any uncertainties about what the future may hold for you and your family, contact our offices today. Family Law Attorney Joseph Lento will go above and beyond the needs for any client and fight for what is fair.

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